God’s ‘kitchen cupboard’…….

“Your eyes have seen my unformed substance and in your Book were all written the days that were ordained for me when as yet there was not one of them.  18) If I should count them they would out number the sand.  When I awake I am still with you.”  (Psa. 139:16,18)

His thoughts of me would outnumber the sand.  Little ole me with a life full of sin and being far from what He had in mind for me?  And yet………and yet…..and yet.

Can you even begin to fathom those words – – those verses – – the thoughts that God had as He gave form to you and to me!!!!!!!!!  It boggles my mind every time I get into Psa. 139.

I think of myself and all I have been through in the past eleven years.  The twists my life took… the turns and the u-turns…..the jolting jerks as I found myself reversing and saying no instead of yes, or not doing what I would have done, could have done or should not have done…..or….or….or….or

God in His great mercy never left me to dry out.  He knew the wandering, weak morsel of “meat” that some day would begin to sprout slowly and turn toward the living Son for vitality and strength with eyes geared to Him and Him alone.

God has given us enough grace to not forever be dogged by our sins but to recognize that they are not the end of us.  He also has given us enough Truth so that we are not slip-shod and think what we have done wasn’t all that bad after all.  He keeps the seasonings for His special ones balanced so the flavor of our lives come out exactly as He once thought of and that “balance” is the gift to us of His Son, Jesus Christ.

Loren, this month, has now been Home for eleven years earth time.  I have a dear friend who once said to me, “Marge, I would never want any one to go through a divorce but if I had not gone through it, I would never have known the kind of a person that I could be.” This friend, is a dynamic Christian today.

Yes.  If I had never gone through the loss of my Loren I would never have known the kind of a person that was still within this body — that could develop – that could once more smile – that one more time could take a step forward perhaps wondering whether there would be two steps back and only one forward, but still making the effort – – that one more time I might sit down on a piano bench and lift my hands up and then down and hear voices in those keys that I had not heard in a very, very long time.

God knew every single thing about me.  The sand – -very single grain of it.  He simply let it fall from His great creating Hand and He kept what was useful to Him.

Yes, dear Reader.  You are in the same state I am in. Perhaps you have not yet lost the one you love so strongly but your life before our Lord is just like mine.  David knew God so well.  He expressed himself so well no matter what state of mind he found himself in.

God’s “seasoning” continues onward through each of our lives.  We grow in strength, in wisdom, in truth, in belief, in faith………….as God sprinkles each of us with His grace, mercy, peace, forgiveness.

Two bookends:  “birth” and “death”.  Between them God is designing our pages, adding a bit here, taking away a bit there. The chapters are growing in number for each of us.  What is being said of each of us! How will the last paragraph in each of our “books” read?

My Loren’s last chapter, last page, last sentence was written. The Lord has ended the writing of that man’s book and placed it between his personal bookends. Could it have been the statement etched in heavenly gold ~~~ “Well done thou good and faithful servant……..enter………” 

As for now, this is what I write…..“How precious also are your thoughts to me, O God!  How vast is the sum of them”.  (139:17)

In His Hands and On His Road.  Marge H.

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