I always like to write when I have problems. It is always easy to write when all is going well. You are on top of the world and while you are up “there” you can tell others how they should live/think/react to problems that we all, some day, some how have. But of course as we write of these things we are not in the midst of problems and so others can see how easy that is and toss our words of wisdom off.
Well. today and for quite a while problems have been with me. Od has a heart murmur that is growing more distinct as the days go by. He has a tumor or a lump. He has a reverse cough which is being controlled, sort’ve by Codeine. The little boy is 15, going on 16.
I have a concert this Sunday night. It is weighing heavily on me. The people who will attend are not coming to hear Pastor Jere. speak, they are coming to hear me and Bob and his dear wife and our guitarist. I am humbled to be in this position. I know that the evening is not to be wasted but for all to be blest through the music. That is my goal. I want only to give to each one a piece of contentment within, and a blessing from our Lord. It makes no difference whether “I nail it” or not. It is not performance. It MINISTRY and I pray each time I work out that I am one step further toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God my Father come Sunday night.
I have a knee replacement waiting in the wings. The throbbing continues and walking is next to impossible at times. Was directed to a fantastic surgeon on this west part of the Valley but he does NOTHING as Dr. Dungy did. He believes in doing the surgery in the morning and sending you home in the afternoon. No rehabilitation any where. He may be the best but he will not do my surgery.
Dr. Dungy, when he found out about this, located a surgeon close by who will have me taken to a rehabilitation place for as long as I need. Dr. Hensen does not send his patients home when they live alone. (Last time I needed only 5 days) Medicare pays for 21 days. I meet with my new surgeon on 4/16. Surgery will be determined at that time. HOWEVER…… the next two Sundays after the 16th gives us Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday. Unless this becomes an emergency I will not have it until May. I want to play those two Sundays. Easter is the Cornerstone of my belief and every other Christian alive. I want to celebrate with the Christian world in April!!!!
I am in constant pain – my knee and leg is quite swollen and sleep is not the name of game right now at night. And I have a lot of things going on besides.
Now. How do I do what, when, where and why. Well. First of all. I am not growing old, I AM old. It is time to expect whatever comes my way, take care of it as I can, then move on. Some people speak of “Why is God doing this to me? Why is He letting this happen?” Very simple. Some of you reading this have said those very words to me. God never promised you fair sailing through life but He promised you and me His presence as we went through the torrential winds and storms of life.
Remember in the 23rd Psalm where we read, ” Even though I walk through the Valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for Thou art with me”. I do not need to “handle” something…..”see” something….. or “feel” something that will supposedly present me with not crumbling or falling through the cracks. I……LIVE…..BY…..FAITH. I know I have problems right now. I know there is no way around them. I know to try to reach for something or someone to make a difference is only going to send me to Satan. I am already told that by faith, God is with me…..by faith, He will never leave me….by faith, when I get to the other side of the situations which are handling me right now, He will have rescued me and I can give Him the glory. Whatever the words “rescued me” might mean, I will trust Him.”I want you to trust Me in your times of trouble so that I can rescue you, and you can give me the glory”. Psa. 50:15b.
Remember it is not your TIME of TROUBLES but your TIMES of TROUBLE. Trouble is simply trouble. But we will have many TIMES of it: Divorce, Finances, Children, Health, Family, Work situations and any thing else you can think of. We “run” to some thing, some one, who can change things for us – make things better!!!!!!!!!!!! And in so doing, we run right into the arms of Satan who offers every thing you want to have happen and once he has you in that grasp, he knows the damage he has done to your relationship with the Heavenly Father.
Dear Friend. Remember Job and how God let Satan have at him. He destroyed all of his family except for Mrs. Job whose only concern and love for her husband suggested to him, “Why don’t you curse God and die!!” What a wife to have. Of course his family and all he owned was destroyed. But satan did not destroy Mrs. Job. She was the one who was helping satan in this situation.
Don’t be fooled. God will see me through every thing from the concert Sunday night, to Od growing older, to setting the date FINALLY for knee replacement, to healing and returning to whatever God sees fit for me to do. We only lose when we turn our eyes upon any thing or any one except God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.
The concert….Od….Knee replacement….. my eyes are fixed on Him alone. All is well with my soul.
In His Control! Marge