I have friends I have never met physically, but mentally they are there because we have emailed back and forth through the tumultuous months/years until our lives have leveled out a bit.
Today was the call from one of those dear ones who read my book and because it was a “skinny” book she grabbed it and read it through “several” times and she began to “know” me. (Heaven help her). lol
But today, the day before Thanksgiving I received a couple of calls from gals that I have never met but “know them well” via the computer life. Thank you gals.
I do plead with all of you still out there searching for a life once again without that lover of yours. You are living that life right now. Don’t try to make a life, or hurry another “kind” of life along. You want what God wants for you. And it may very well be that even this long after your loss, you are not ready for what a “new” life might bring.
Yes. I have had the opportunity for remarriage, It was a person I knew/know very well. One thing is certain ~~ you have to be sure that the love that you once had that was so real, so full, so rich, so without question, and so strong that NO ONE could destroy it, is in storage with a padlock locked and the key thrown deeply into the ocean, before you can begin all over again. Otherwise, you will hurt that “second time around” bit. Even when my maintenance man comes around and after he leaves I look at his work and say, “Loren wouldn’t have done it that way”. You see how terrible it would be for me to be remarried!!!!
I have freedom that is known only to a person that is satisfied in being unmarried. Oh. Of course. There are lonely times but you can’t stuff another person into that hole and make everything super great. When you have had a deep satisfaction in your life and had it for years, the places where you are single are there/felt/but they do not destroy you. They are there just to remind you of what you once had and now in that place you have the memories. Believe me, that is a most satisfying dish of life to have.
M.J., I hope this has helped you a little bit. For the others of you out there, just remember (because I know the ones I am writing to at this moment) being a Christian sets you up on solid ground because the One who made you also knew right then where/what/when/how you were going to live/do things and the results thereof. If He so decides for you to marry, it will happen because with Him at the helm of your life, you have the best of the best to lead/guide/direct in every moment of your life.
Every holiday season that comes my way I get one year further away from the love of my life, but one layer closer to knowing more aggressively and more surely in my life, what I had when I had it and it gives to me a great deal of calmness within and peace that does pass all understanding. And until it has literally come your way, the “understanding” can’t be there.
Not too many moons ago I was talking with a younger one in the family and she made the comment, that she “understood both sides”. No way. Only had knowledge. Did not have personal experience. Did not have, could not have, “understanding.”
Understanding comes through the living in the past that has brought you to the present. There are two things in all of life that make up “us”: knowledge and experience. Knowledge is wonderful but experience, if I had to choose between the two, would be my choice. Because with “knowledge” you can only have a passing idea of what understanding is but with experience, you feel it deep in your heart and soul and then…….then……………………you know. That is where “experience” has entered your deepest living – and your deepest longings.
As I am writing this I am remembering the study on Heb. 11:1 that we did together. Always I have heard it is a definition of Faith. But it is not. It is a description of Faith. Big difference. The same is true with knowledge and experience.
You can cut your hand badly – requiring stitches. One may see it happen and feel sorry for you. But YOU are the only one to actually “feel” what happened and the pain of it. You felt it. You had the experience of it. They saw it. They had knowledge of it.
You are doing fine. Hope I was able to answer a couple of your questions.Of course. You have lonely times. Those are your valleys. You also have mountain tops. The deeper the valley the higher the mountain.
Have a blessed Thanksgiving week and the launch pad to Christmas!!!!!