Bittersweet…….

Today is Sunday!  This morning…………wonderful..God blest………Bittersweet…….but not too much….only a tinge!!

A normal Sunday morning for me. Joannie picks me up at 9:25 each Sunday.  Today I had an extra special opportunity  –  that of playing for the “whole” service.  The first time in eleven years that I have been able to sit down at the piano and stay there for the service. Prelude, hymns, offertory, and this time, a communion service that I had not been told about.

Was I prepared?  Absolutely.  The Lord gave me the umph- – the courage  – – the will power – – the desire and the freedom to soar as I sat down at the keyboard of the grand piano in the Chapel where we worship.

God seemed to have a re-wind on my body – the music in my notebook – it being, still, a black notebook with divisions in it so that any pastor who might feel led to fly off the handle of routine and do something unheard of without notification to the instrumentalist before hand, would feel very relaxed with what he might suggest/ask/invite the congregation to do.

And so it happened. I had not been told there would be Communion.  But this little ole lady has her Communion section all set up and all I had to do was to turn the Tab to Communion and I was good to go.

God let my fingers and my mind work together just as they once did.  He took me back for a moment in time but quickly brought me up to speed as to where I am, reminding me that He beckons a lot of the people to do work for Him AFTER the age of 75.  Don’t let it go to my head, just keep on keeping on and He will lead….He will guide….He will not give me any thing more to do than He is willing to do through me.  Okay.  That is settled.  He is in charge.  May He always strengthen and use my hands as He sees fit.

Another pastor in the church came to the piano following the service and asked if I would be playing for the service tonight. He was so very complimentary in ways that seemed almost overboard.  But I knew that he had been blest by our Lord with the whole service this morning.

But – you might have guessed it. There was a bittersweet moment.  A moment when I  “remembered when”.  As I say down in my place before the sermon, Loren was not there.  I could not feel the squeeze of his hand on mine,   which would always tell me,  “Good job, Humphrey!” Almost immediately I felt the security of my Heavenly Father who not only sits beside me but is above, below, in front, in back and within.  He made me.  He is the One who has given me all that I have ever had to use.

The bittersweetness this time, seemed to fade into the distance.  It seemed to almost say, “you are now far enough along that you do not need me any more.  You are going to be alright. You have passed the awful hammering of those heartstrings that have confronted you for so long.” And almost as I thought that, I felt uplifted.  A new Marge seemed to evolve.  Not the same one.  Not a brand new different one.  Not an old one.  But one that God had determined long ago would, of her own accord,  fall many many times but He would/did/does/always will hold her hand and she will not be hurled headlong.  And always – she will come back to where/what He determined for her centuries ago when He created her.

Thank you Lord for giving to me Thy great salvation, so rich and so free.

In His Hands, working as He sees fit….

Marge H.

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