How small the world has become.
A friend in the Netherlands has a friend in the Chandler, AZ area with whom I am connecting with this writing. Evie is in the stage of disconnecting from a husband whom she loved dearly as his life was taken in an accident while on his bike some time back.
Others are still reeling from this particular jolt in their lives. It hits hard and resonates seemingly for ever and ever.
My husband, Evie, has been with the Lord a little over a decade now. (6/20/08) It seems like only yesterday in so many ways. The tears that would flood my very being have subsided now and the warmth of a quiet smile remembers any number of things that took place in our lives together. It has not hit you this way yet but it will, Evie. Give it time. Remember that God has a tear bottle with your name on it so make use of it.
Grief is a part of healing that God has given to us. When grief has done its work, it moves out of residence in our lives and healing comes in, looks around, and begins to do the process of healing. Unfortunately that can take your whole lifetime. You will never ever be the same. But you will be through with grieving and the healing process will be such that you can smile again and you can lift your eyes up and say, “thank you Lord for seeing me through this chapter of living.”
I hope you can find a copy of my book. I no longer have any copies of my own to send. It was in Ebook form too. Try Amazon and see if they might still have copies. The book is not about what and how I did so many horrible things. It is about what and how God took care of me when I was not in control within or without myself.
Remember we are not God’s robots. He gave us a free will. THAT has caused us problems. If He would simply pull our strings as He wants, it would be easier for us but not at all how He intended us to be. He wants our love, our dedication, our will to be in accord with our love and giving completely ourselves to His will for and in our lives.
A verse that kept my balance was Isa. 33:6. “And He shall be the stability of your times”. Memorize it and keep it with you in your mind. You may feel totally out of control but remember, “He shall be your stability”. His stability is not your stability. His is out of this world!!
A life verse of mine is Isa 46:4. “I will take care of you all of your life. Yes. Even when your hair is white with age. I made you. I will take care of you. I will carry you along and be your Savior”. We cannot ask for anything more than that. Believe me, when family and friends turn their backs on us, it really makes no difference because you will have what is superior to all that you might have on the earth and your needs will be totally met. (I did not say your “wants”.) Of course, God is not a Scrooge but our needs are vital to our growth and continuation of living.
Another verse that helped me so much was Isa. 54:5. “For your Maker is your husband. The Lord Almighty is His name. The Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer. He is called the God of all the earth.”
There is no way that we will get lost in the muddle of the tsunami that has hit when we have our Heavenly Father at the helm. If you feel lost. If you feel like you have no desire to go on. If you feel like giving up – – who cares. I have been there. I have made it through that terrible maze and though I will never be the same, I can realize now something that I could never realize while I was living a marvelous life with my husband. That is……………God IS sufficient to meet the need of my life at every moment because He created me, He knows what materials He put into me. He knows what makes me tick. He knows that though I am a sinner, saved by grace, I am also able to go to the foot of that Cross and drop to my knees and simply lift my hands and arms up and as the sweet, sweet drops of Jesus’ blood falls on me, there is His kind of healing taking place within me and I cannot explain it. I just know it is happening. You will too, Evie, somewhere, somehow, someway, maybe days, weeks, months, or even years from now but NEVER……NEVER……NEVER will you be alone without the Lord. NEVER. He is all you need to get through what you are going through.
Remember God gives us memories so that we can have roses in the December of our lives. You will begin to remember those “roses” somewhere along the way.
I remember well the moment in time that Loren took his last breath. I could feel him being transported into the presence of his Lord and saying to myself, “There he goes”, all the while the angels in heaven were rejoicing and saying (yelling) “HERE HE COMES!!!!!” Then for me to know, as a Christian, that Loren had just met eye to eye with His Savior on heaven’s beach. I can only imagine! I can only imagine!
How in the world can we put an ocean into a teacup.
Bless you Evie. And bless each of you reading my Blog at this moment. Be blest. Know that your Lord is absolutely sufficient to meet your needs because He was there even before “needs” were created. He will never ever fail you.
In His Hands and On His Road.