“Pot holes”! Ah! Yes! Cracks and crevices are showing within and as I went to a specialist this past week, I was a new patient. Also their office was on the 3rd floor. As I got on the elevator I remembered years before when my husband was going very frequently to doctors and as the elevator doors would close he would slip his arm around me and we would kiss – that is – when no one else was in the elevator with us. 🙂 There were times when I slowed down getting to an elevator simply because I knew what that elevator would hold for us if we were in an empty elevator and IF I could get my hand on the up button and hold it there long enough to close the doors quickly. 🙂 🙂
Yes. I got into an elevator with no one else in it. Actually the first time for that in over 10 years. Hard. Difficult. Then of course the next reminder of being alone was when I stepped from the elevator out into a hallway that seemed to extend for ever before I got to where I needed to be. I was the only one walking it.
I remembered over a decade ago when it was a normal practice of ours to be visiting a doctor of one kind or another, but we were doing it together. Not this time – it was one woman, one long hallway and memories all of a sudden shooting up over here and over there and I thought I would never get to the right door in order to get away from them.
Someone told me years ago I would never be able to forget – I would simply learn how to live with it all. And that is very true. I just said to someone this past week, Loren taught me how to do so many things, but he never taught me how to live without him. THAT has been something I have had to deal with alone. And so must you – some of you – we will be widowing for the rest of our lives and dealing with issues that jump out in front us.
As I signed in and sat down God seemed to be in that seat next to me and He reminded me of what He had pounded into my head a very long time ago, that being:
“I will take care of you all of your life. Yes, even when your hair is white with age. I made you. I will take care of you. I will carry you along and be your Savior” Isa. 45:4.
I can almost see Him being impatient with me because I frequently forget that He is taking care of me, minute by minute. That isn’t the way He is with us humans. Keep me focused Lord on You ~~~ nothing more, nothing less, nothing else.. Failure comes from everywhere except the Lord. Keep on keeping on with your eyes fixed on Jesus, Marge!!!!!!!!! ( AND….all of you, too)
Maybe you needed this bit of a push/shove/encouragement this morning as well. You got it!!!! He IS faithful…..ALWAYS!!!!!