oooooooooooooooooops…..shouldn’t have~~

I was so sick and tired of staying at home so I WENT to the store today and told my driver to pick me up in an hour.  That he did.  But it should have been less than 30 minutes.  lol

Okay.  So I am not super woman.  But it was surely fun for a few minutes.  Seriously on Wednesday I begin my therapy for 4 to 5 weeks.   And tonight………….I am back on track again.  Did any one ever tell you that you can’t do at 84 what you did 7 years earlier????? It is true though.  Back to the grind stone.

Marge

Made the “turn” last night about 8:30pm

Monday, June 24th, I will be starting my fourth week since total knee replacement.  it has been a hard three weeks.  The 80’s is not a time to decide to have major surgery unless it is absolutely necessary. We do not function as well.  We do not have the strength any longer to throw off “bugs”, etc that are around us and we simply ain’t got what it takes to take all things as we used to.

These past week have been times of going for breakfast, home to bed, back for lunch, home to bed and continuing on with that, knowing, or at least hoping it would stop soon.

I did not expect it to do that last night but about 8:30 I got up and realized I was not feeling so dreary, so heavy loaded. What a comfort.  For the first time, I took my music notebook and looked through it realizing that during this “off” period from SGCC I had planned to clean out my music folder and give it a current look.  And I was able to begin that process last night.  Not wanting to overdo it too much, I thanked the Lord for his watch care over me and ask him for time to use the ability He has given to me a bit longer, nevertheless, not my will but His. THAT is what is always in fashion with me!

Today (Sunday) will be a day of further resting and letting the healing continue to take place. Stitches were out last week and all looks well. The nerve ends are still wild but that too, in time, will dull.

Thank You Lord for keep me.  Marge

Thank you so very much….

….Your cards and calls – – they have meant so much.  This morning after breakfast, I came home to lay down for a bit and the phone rang. Texas calling!!  A dear friend from another era in time called and we chatted and I was so uplifted when I hung up the phone.

Being 84, I sense a slowing down in more ways than one.   Don’t have the energy that I once had.  In fact, 7 years ago the knee replacement was different – I had more energy stored up to use when the energy source at hand seemed scarce.

Thank you all for your cards and notes and your calls.  I really do appreciate that so much.  When the times get rough, I know who I can count on.  You mean a lot.

Always in His care.  Marge

Writing……is becoming different~~

With the Domain so near closing date, I will write for a bit more but, not any thing particularly outstanding in nature.

I find myself sitting down more now.  Nothing as it used to be. Thought I would go over  to the Lutheran Thrift Store this morning but transportation doesn’t have any time so I will stay home and it is just as well.

I remember when I used to say, “my 73 year old mind does not communicate well with my 83 year old body.  If they don’t begin to communicate soon, we will be in trouble, big time!!”  Well.  The mind is fast catching up with the 83 year old body that has now turned 84 and it does help to be more on the same wave link, sort’ve, maybe.

I am catching up more with the status of those around me here. One gal, had a stroke, and now is in a wheelchair and “drives” herself backwards down the street and sidewalk.  Others mosey along with their rollators and time seems to have etched in each a slower pace that be-fits each of us here on the campus.  I find myself now with my rollator all the time with the cane now a shade of the past…….ah, yes.  a shade of the past……once it was the car…then the cane…then the rollator…then…then…then. Making purchases are not what they once were.  And some of you can say GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to that I am sure. And to that I would reply, “you ain’t walked in my shoes…………YET!!”  There are thousands of things I never thought I would do either.  Granted.  Not all were worthy of the time or the money, but one thing for sure each step strong or faltering, led me to where I am right now and I am where I am supposed to be.  So perhaps you, some day will be there too.

The knee replacement has taken its toll too.  Not any thing that is horrible, just much different than the last one when I was 7 years younger. People ask me how I am. My mind goes immediately to others to whom the same question was just asked and their aches and pains fall out of their mouth.  It seems it is all they know.  And those who have asked really don’t want to hear what they have to say, and suggest that they are complaining as always,  So those “listening” toss the person’s difficulties off as complaining and compassion is not a part of the day because that kind of compassion requires maturity in order to understand and realize that when one drives off to work on a busy agenda the one left behind had been there once but now they are left standing in the fog of the exhaust and another day brings to memory another time when we were younger and did the same thing.

Time!  Oh, Time!!  Be Slow!!!

It was a day ago I was a child dreaming of being grown….

A noon ago, I was with children of my own….

An afternoon ago, they all grew up and now they are gone….

It is night now….11:59pm.  We are left alone with few that understand any thing of where we are.  Oh Time….W…..A….I…..T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Til next time.  Marge

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Remembering~~Thinking~~Aiming!

Elizabeth Elliot once wrote, “It is God to whom and with whom we travel and while He is the end of our journey He is also at every stopping place.”

Elizabeth Elliot was the wife of Jim Elliot.  They were one of five missionary couples ministering to the Auca Indians, a tribe living in the Ecuadorian jungle.  Due to a tragic misunderstanding all five of the men were speared to death.  The widows remained in Ecuador to continue the work of their husbands sharing the gospel with the very people who murdered their husbands.

Elizabeth further wrote, “The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of a Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian makes me a different kind of a woman.”

Loren made a difference in his world.  Not with every one.  But with those God placed him with. On the golf course it was readily noticeable that something about him was different. Through the years he witnessed with his life and with his heart. One became a pastor – several returned to serving their Lord in the church – others were introduced to the Lord and their lives changed.  All done – one person at a time. He had a tremendous patience and understanding that Christ could, did and truly would, always be living within and making a difference.

Loren always treated me with the goodness of being a Godly man.  One afternoon, as I was waiting for him to open the car door for me, a friend passing by said, “Hasn’t Marge figured out how to get out of the car yet?”  To which he answered, “Any one can get out by themselves but it takes a lady to wait”. Needless to say………there was no rebuttal.

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It was because of “One Woman’s Journey into Widowhood” that this Blog was created.  Now, eleven years later, on the anniversary of Loren’s Home going, this will be known as the last posting of the Blog era.

I have thoroughly enjoyed writing – – meeting many of you in a way whereby we would never meet physically and yet come to know each other so well. If I could leave one thought with you it would be to never give up.  Keep your eyes on the Lord and Him alone.  He is sufficient in every way and for every need you will ever have in your lifetime.

Remember too, God gave to each of us a free will.  We need to exercise it gingerly.   We are free to make any decision in life that we wish.  Any decision.  But we are not free to chose the consequences for that decision.  Think about that and be very careful.

Sometimes we make decisions and we don’t really care how the other person feels because we want what we want and we are going to get it! But along with that decision brings consequences from the other side and the snowball effect is put into place and things are changed and togetherness is lost for ever. BUT…. the day does come, some how, some way, at some time, when we least expect it, and the consequences erupt in the subconscience and there is no way – – EVER – – of removing them.

Remember also – – you can never be too bad or too good.  But you can be TOO LATE!!

Thank you Heavenly Father for a lifetime of sin forgiven through your Son, Jesus Christ, that makes the way Home possible.  Thank You for your love, mercy, grace and compassion that allowed our marriage to be what it was. I pray for those Lord who are trusting in some one or some thing other than your Son.  May their eyes be opened and the darkness removed from their souls.  In Jesus’ name I pray.  Amen!

LOREN RHODES HUMPHREY

Nov. 2, 1909  June 20, 2008

God’s Servant

 

In the grasp of the Master’s care!

Marge Humphrey IMG_2224

God’s ‘kitchen cupboard’…….

“Your eyes have seen my unformed substance and in your Book were all written the days that were ordained for me when as yet there was not one of them.  18) If I should count them they would out number the sand.  When I awake I am still with you.”  (Psa. 139:16,18)

His thoughts of me would outnumber the sand.  Little ole me with a life full of sin and being far from what He had in mind for me?  And yet………and yet…..and yet.

Can you even begin to fathom those words – – those verses – – the thoughts that God had as He gave form to you and to me!!!!!!!!!  It boggles my mind every time I get into Psa. 139.

I think of myself and all I have been through in the past eleven years.  The twists my life took… the turns and the u-turns…..the jolting jerks as I found myself reversing and saying no instead of yes, or not doing what I would have done, could have done or should not have done…..or….or….or….or

God in His great mercy never left me to dry out.  He knew the wandering, weak morsel of “meat” that some day would begin to sprout slowly and turn toward the living Son for vitality and strength with eyes geared to Him and Him alone.

God has given us enough grace to not forever be dogged by our sins but to recognize that they are not the end of us.  He also has given us enough Truth so that we are not slip-shod and think what we have done wasn’t all that bad after all.  He keeps the seasonings for His special ones balanced so the flavor of our lives come out exactly as He once thought of and that “balance” is the gift to us of His Son, Jesus Christ.

Loren, this month, has now been Home for eleven years earth time.  I have a dear friend who once said to me, “Marge, I would never want any one to go through a divorce but if I had not gone through it, I would never have known the kind of a person that I could be.” This friend, is a dynamic Christian today.

Yes.  If I had never gone through the loss of my Loren I would never have known the kind of a person that was still within this body — that could develop – that could once more smile – that one more time could take a step forward perhaps wondering whether there would be two steps back and only one forward, but still making the effort – – that one more time I might sit down on a piano bench and lift my hands up and then down and hear voices in those keys that I had not heard in a very, very long time.

God knew every single thing about me.  The sand – -very single grain of it.  He simply let it fall from His great creating Hand and He kept what was useful to Him.

Yes, dear Reader.  You are in the same state I am in. Perhaps you have not yet lost the one you love so strongly but your life before our Lord is just like mine.  David knew God so well.  He expressed himself so well no matter what state of mind he found himself in.

God’s “seasoning” continues onward through each of our lives.  We grow in strength, in wisdom, in truth, in belief, in faith………….as God sprinkles each of us with His grace, mercy, peace, forgiveness.

Two bookends:  “birth” and “death”.  Between them God is designing our pages, adding a bit here, taking away a bit there. The chapters are growing in number for each of us.  What is being said of each of us! How will the last paragraph in each of our “books” read?

My Loren’s last chapter, last page, last sentence was written. The Lord has ended the writing of that man’s book and placed it between his personal bookends. Could it have been the statement etched in heavenly gold ~~~ “Well done thou good and faithful servant……..enter………” 

As for now, this is what I write…..“How precious also are your thoughts to me, O God!  How vast is the sum of them”.  (139:17)

In His Hands and On His Road.  Marge H.

33 Days have stopped by~~~~~~~~~~

During that time we moved, prepared for and had a total knee replacement, been to rehab and now home to “ice” the cake, so as to speak, ie, “final rehabing”.

This morning (6/12) I had breakfast with my LifeStream breakfast friends/family then seeing my patio had taken a beating while I was gone I decided to trim down the outside plants for the summer and “blow” the patio and area. It looked nice immediately.  Then, of course, my body knocked on the door and informed me that it had been through a lot and needed some attention”.  And so – the final stage of rehabing began.

For the next part of this journey, I met my RN, Louise….My PT, Brando and my OT, Michelle.  All three – – young, very nice and fun. The meds that have come to visit for this part of the trip are Celebrex and Percocet.  However Percocet decided to show it’s face in problems.  So difficult to even get when you have all the right paperwork. Having enough to see me at the finish line of the rehabing will probably be a challenge all the way.  But it WILL happen.

Louise will be overseeing my progress and she already has climbed on board and made things happen that would have been difficult for me to do alone.  There was a glitch in the meds and I was without any pain meds for several hours today.  She left for lunch and when she returned she had picked up the Celebrex from the pharmacy and arranged for the Percocet that was left from my rehab stay to be given to me.

B. and M. will be leading me in strengthening the knee area and preparing for this ole lady to get on top and begin to mingle once again with those whose eyes are fixed on Home.

I ran through a piece of music to see where the hands are at this point.  Sloppy.  Expected.  But by Sunday, they will be up to par and skipping over the keys with the greatest of ease and thankfulness.

A couple full of God’s love and desire to serve Him as long as they have life have come alongside me and when I have needs, they are right there for me every step of the way.  They were there when we needed transportation for getting Od over for his “vacation” stay.  They were there when getting meds for me. They are here when I need a car that I can get in and out of without too much pain. Some times I think I only have to “think” I have a need and they are right there.

The church family laid hands on me first for a strengthening that was not known to me personally before. Calls, cards, and visiting.  I originally planned to take all of June off but I sense everything needed to move on and be where God placed me, doing what He gave me to do. I am energized to make that  piano “ring” as did the church bells in so many little country churches so many years ago as the hour would approach to worship the One and Only Lord God. I have a beautiful, upbeat arrangement of “I’m so glad I’m a part of the Family of God.”  So be it!!!!

The time which flung open this chapter in my journey of life never in my wildest dreams gave any idea about the “how” or the “why” of all of the stops and starts that would be attached, nor how I would or could still be producing at a level worthy of the place I have been placed by the Lord. But it is not I.  It is the Lord.   It was….it is….it will be enough.  “O Lord, our Lord…. how excellent is Thy name in all the earth.”

I thought you might like to see how the knee area looks now that we are ready to begin the final go-around. This is the bandage that was placed over the incision in the OR.  It is 2″x10″. No staples.  No stitches.  Only glue and gauze underneath for human healing areas. You are looking at the original bandage. A PICO Pump is what you see attached.  It comes off Tuesday.

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